From the Idea to the Real

It's often a stretch for me to pull my creative ideas across the finish line to become real, whole things alive in the world.  I'm continually listening for a way to think about that process with more spaciousness and curiosity, rather than a bent towards crankiness that ensures my ideas won't dare to keep poking their heads out of the soil. My faithful, incredible writing group helps a ton, as do other artists who can pop their heads into the room and tell me, "Keep going!"

So last week I smiled wide hearing this dialogue between the words of writers Elizabeth Gilbert and Anne Patchett (on the unedited version of her interview with Krista Tippett on onbeing.org)

Anne Patchett put this beautifully - Her favorite part of the creative process is the beginning when she has the idea, she's alone with the idea. And the idea is a piece of perfection. The idea circles her head like an amethyst butterfly and catches the light...and she knows, This is the one! She doesn't have to make it, just enjoy the pleasure of this perfection that does not exist.

And then when the moment comes to actually make that book, take it out of the unreal and midwife it into the real, the first thing she has to do is pluck that imaginary amethyst butterfly from the sky, put it on the table in front of her and smash it with a mallet. Because it can never be made. The more she is addicted to making that, the harder it will be for her to do her job, which is to make what she is capable of making now. 

[That's what a friendly artist does], one with a friendly curiosity about their work and an open-hearted "oh well," and an absence of perfectionism. My attempt to making an amethyst butterfly is always just so bizarre - I end up making this thing that looks nothing like the glittering dream. I hammer this thing together and claim that it's an amethyst butterfly. I look at it and one of the hinges doesn't work and it's all lopsided, and yet, the feeling I have at this point is, "That's pretty cool! No one ever made one like that before!" The dream of the thing wasn't a real thing, and this is a real thing that has life and spirit in it. And I kinda like it. And now I want to go make another one. And we can leave the amethyst butterflies to the dream of perfectionism that is the death of all fun, all play and all joy.

How to have more free time

Some of my best days are the ones where I forget my phone and go back to having a sense of long, wide focus to the world around me. So, I made this iPhone screen saver for myself and you too, reminding us No! Don't Slide to Unlock! I'm happy to report, it totally works. Thanks to Austin Kleon for giving me the idea.

How to set this as lock screen wallpaper: Open FB on your phone and take a screen shot of this image - holding the power button and top button at the same time. (Or, download and email to yourself, opening on your phone). Open the image in Photos and chose the Select/Send to button on the bottom left, and then swipe grey icon options to the left and chose "Use as Wallpaper." Zoom in and out so that my painted word "instead" is behind the ghosty boxes labeled Still/Perspective. That way, the word and black bar will cover the option of "slide to unlock." Hit "Set" and chose "Set Lock Screen."

Enjoy your free time! : D

The Dark Dog and Vastness

Oh great ocean, dissolve me. You large enough, tumultuous enough, to curl up around my thoughts.

Oh great ocean, dissolve me. You large enough, tumultuous enough, to curl up around my thoughts.

So many thanks for all the beautiful birthday notes. It was a bright day of gratitude, kindness and songs.

Today I want to share more about my experience of depression, and another element of my constellation of wellness: spending time in vast spaces in nature. Here's my full list again, together making up a north star constellation leading my back to my true self. 

- A Spiritual, Physical Practice with movement (like yoga, dance, aikido, tai chi)
- Time in Vast Spaces in Nature
- Somatic, Body-based Meditation and Drawing
- Loving Touch
- Prioritizing Outbreath: Rest and Sleep
- Creating Music/Singing for all is larger than language
- Group Truth Telling and Deep Listening
- Eating Real Food

In the last year I've realized that the ocean is a sort of tuning fork for my spirit, vast and tumultuous enough to believe and wrap around my confusion. It can absorb me, dissolve me, bring me to rest a bit more as a small speck of something much larger. I like walking along the shore and talking to it with my questions, my thank you's and my stuckness. That said, one of my friends shared he feels the opposite at the ocean, and much prefers trees and mountains to anchor his spirit when it is wobbly.

I like the idea of leaving stone and metal city scape to re-tune myself in my evolutionary home, even the ancient watery home of all my cells. And rather than falling back on the futile "trying to figure it out,"  I go asking all those ions somehow sort ME out.

And alot of the time, I leave lighter.